When It Hurts So BAD....

This week has been brutally hard and unrelenting.  I could not start a job I wanted badly due to issues beyond my control.  I have lost a friend that I cared for deeply.  I have cried enough to create my lagoon.  The hurt that cradles my heart squeezes me tightly with no press for release button.  I have been wondering what I have done to deserve such a throbbing ache.  I cry out vehemently for someone to tell me why.  Why,  happiness seems to disappear when I get too close.  I have always wondered why I have to work so much harder for things to become a reality for me.  I see others that seem to get things effortlessly.  I try to keep my thoughts clear of what goes on around me.  But sometimes I lose focus and find myself wondering what ifs.  Even as I sit here and wonder I know what I have to do.  I have to pick  myself back up and continue to move along in my journey of life. I have to check my ruck sack and ensure my necessities are still there.  My shield of confidence has taken many hits but yet, I continue to patch up and it works as good as new.  My determination and tenacity wait patiently at my side.  My book of aspirations encourage me to keep climbing. Always reassuring me that if I stay stumble determination will be there to lift me up. So, I shall say this and be done with this self-induced pity party.  "Pain is a part of life.  How you decide to deal with that pain.  Will determine how long it hurts."