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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Through the Storm

It rained heavily this past weekend. I watched the rain fall in large tear like droplets. I watched and sat quietly in deep concentration. Sometimes clarity comes when we least expect it. I watched as the rain beat upon the roof with a serrated rhythm. I glanced at the clouds rolling quickly with impatience. The sky smudged with too much of a gray like frustration. I closed my eyes hoping to erase the image from my memory but then I could hear the wind howling its mournful tune of regret. I could not escape. I have depended heavily upon my ability to shut down reality and morph into my own altered reality. I was powerless. Clarity is refreshing once you get over the shock. I could not shut myself off from reality because that storm was me. I have struggled so much from lack of confidence to wondering of my purpose . I have pondered about my purpose for so long I cannot remember a time that I haven't. I have hugged fear tighter than my own child. My life has been a remix of oxymoron's and words.  I am most comfortable within the catacombs of my own mind.  Sometimes we are own worst enemy. I know that my storm will also be my testimony. I am exhausted. Tired of running from myself. Especially tired of running from GOD. So to anyone that may be struggling with their purpose just know that fear of the unknown will always hold you captive in your storm.