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Wednesday, August 9, 2017


I am and always have dreamed big. As a child I lost myself in my alternate reality where I was a success. I never waivered my steps in going after what I wanted.  I was dogged and determine to become infamous. In reality I have become the opposite. I still have dreams that I feel could changed the world. However, the confidence to achieve them has faded away. Do not get me wrong I am still confident just not of my own dreams. I consider myself to be a “Pusher” if you tell me your goals and dreams I will do all I can within in my power of persuasiveness and plain old’ annoyance to convince you to push yourself over the finish line. I do not waiver in my attempts to motivate and encourage you to reach deep down within for that last bit of strength. Just when you feel you can go no further I am whispering in your ear encouraging you with the strength that I have to keep going just a bit further.
         Lately, a feeling of discontent has started to invade my mind. I feel it coursing towards my heart. I feel lost as If I’m walking a great distance on my own. I do not see anyone just a long road stretched toward infinity. Unfortunately, I cannot stop to rest because I feel fear is a hairs breath behind me. I feel it calling me and I simply cannot ignore its mournful wail. I hear the exhaustion of trying desperately to be something wonderful within its tune. I keep walking but my tears have blurred my vision. I continue to walk because I know what awaits me if I stop.
         Weary. I am mentally exhausted. I know that I need to push myself out of my comfort zone. Become the brilliant person God molded me to be. Fear has ties upon me and I simply do not know where to start to cut them.