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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Letting Go Of My FEAR-TODAY

I arrived at my weekly luncheon series excited and ready to learn more about life in general.  But what I learned today was truly heaven sent.  I wrote about comfirmations in my previous blog. What I learned today was indeed a confirmation.  Fear has crippled me from doing so many great things in life.  I honestly did not realize that I have been feeding fear for a very long time.  I wonder if I could file that on income taxes next  year!!! Fear comes in so many shapes and directions that if you were not aware (which most are not) it could suffocate you.  Few people outside of my family know about the one big dream I have.  I want to bceome a writer.  That is perhaps the one thing in life I feel I am extrordinary at.  As, a child writing was my way of exscaping reality.  I felt no one could penetrate the words and images I would conjure up. My poems and stories became my shield from a world that could be harsh and malicious. I have always had a way with manipulating words to do as I wished.  Often times the words became the tears I physically could not shed.  I gave my dream up thinking I would never make it as a writer because I did not possess the technical side of writing.  I did not care about periods, commas, and question marks-I still do not care.  I just wanted to write.  Fearing that no one would ever care to read what I had to say.  I locked my dream away.  Secretly, going back to touch its loving embrace slowly dying inside every time I walked away.  Some months ago I started writing a pamphlet about women discovering themselves.  I titled it "Finding Your Way Back to You"  It was supposed to be a self-help guide to redirect women back to self-discovery.  I stopped writing it for several reasons the couple that reaches out to me the most is fear and why listen to me.  Fear because I was terrified no one would want to know what I had to say on this subject and why listen to me because I myself had not followed the guide.  But I am ready now!! I am ready to step rather I should say leap out on faith and put my writing on display for all to see. Flaws and all. So my next blog will be the first chapter of the pamphlet I am writing. Stay Tuned

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